Chapter 8

Aj looked at lynn's naked body and felt tears come to his eyes as he imagined Teresa
lying next to him.

"AJ?"

He turned over so his back was twards her. He bit his lip so that she wouldn't hear him
crying

Lynn rubbed AJ's shoulders lightly, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." he sniffed trying to clam himself down,"it's just...."

"Talk to me...."

"I don't wanna mess things up."

"Is this about Teresa?"

He turned back to face her, "umm yea. Look Lynn, I'm sorry, it's just that I can't helpthinking that I betrayed her by sleeping with you."

"Well..hey, it's not like you said you loved me," she said, trying desperately to play off how what AJ said hurt her.

Aj just nodded feeling deep in his heart that he was falling for her, " are you hurt?"

"Yeah, but I'll get over it. I've been through worse things." She lied, knowing very well that the more time she would spend with AJ, the harder she would fall for him.

"let's just go to sleep" AJ said trying to stop the subject from going to far

"Alright.." Lynn turned over with her back to AJ's and laid there
restlessly, unable to sleep. "God, why did I do this to myself?"

Aj pulled her close to him and kissed her shoulder, ' What the fuck is wrong with you
man, just tell her you love her" AJ just shook his head and tried to sleep

"Good job Lynn, you just wasted losing your virginity to
a guy who's still not over his dead fiancee. Real fuckin smooth."

'she's not coming back,"Aj thought to himself, "so just get
over her and move on, tell
her how you feel."

"umm lynn?" AJ asked

"Yeah?"

"oh umm, I was just seeing if you were sleeping yet." He lied as fear took over him and
his emotions

"No offense, AJ...but you're a horrible liar."

"what?" Aj said,"I'm not lying, I was just seeing if you were having any trouble
sleeping, you know, because you might be sore" He rammbled on

"You wanna know why I really can't sleep?"

"why?"

"I'm too busy sulking over the fact that I just lost my virginity to you when you're still in love with Teresa."

Aj was a little surprised at her comment. "lynn, do you have any feelings for me?"

"Well...yeah, obviously..."

: "but when we were in my room before we agreed to only be
friends"

"I can't help it...And why the hell did you fuck me if we agreed to just be
friends?"

"I...I dunno...it just happened"

"Just so you know, considering the fact that I never fucked
Paul, there's no way that was rebound sex."

"who the fuck is talking about re-bound sex lynn?"

"me"

"I don't know what you're talking about that, all i wanna talk about is why we keep lying
to each other"

"I'm not lying anymore..it's pointless."

"What? just tell me the truth, how do you feel?"

"I'm fucking falling in love with you and so far as I know,you're too busy feeling guilty for having any kind of feelings for mebecause of Teresa, that you CAN'T tell me how you really feel."

"well fuck! how many times have we went over this?? I can't get over her! She didn't
dump me, she was killed, I can't forgive myself for letting them hurt her. And here I am sitting here fucking people like you, while she's in the fuckin ground, not coming back!"

"People like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean people who don't know shit about what I'm going through, and want me to jump into a relatationship"

"You know what? You're right..and I'm leaving. Permanently."

"Leaving where?"

"the tour, so you don't have to deal with me anymore"

"don't be silly lynn, there's no need to be childish and leave"

"You know what, when you fall in love again with someone you can't have, and have to fucking work with them, come back and talk to me. Until then, I'm gone," she said, throwing her clothes back on and grabbing her things as she headed for the door.

"oh come on!" AJ said getting up, " don't do this!"

"Give me one good damn reason NOT to leave."

"Because I....because we can't find another dancer in time"

"Not good enough. Goodbye, AJ." And she stormed out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind her bitterly.

"fuck!" Aj exclaimed as he fell on his bed

******

"God, how the hell am I gonna get home?" Lynn sighed quietly to herself.

*****

Aj layed there thinking about Lynn, "shit dude, you gotta stop her" he said to himself, "nah, just let her go......"

*****

"Damn you AJ!!! Damn you to fucking hell!!!" Lynn screamed
out to no one in particular, trying to release some of the frustration that was pent up inside her.

Awakened by the commotion, Brian got up and opened the door
to his room to see what was going on, only to see Lynn standing there against the
wall. "You ok?"

"Ok, think about that for a sec. If I was ok, would I be screaming?"

AJzCookiesNCreme: "Well, what happened?"

"I really don't wanna talk about it. I'm leaving anyways, once I figure out how the fuck I'm gonna get home. I quit."

"You're quitting after ONE show?"

"I can't deal with AJ. I just can't do it."

"Well, why not?"

"Because I goddamn fucking like him, and he's too fucking hung up on feeling guilty
about having feelings for me because of Teresa..."
*****

AJ listened to what she was saying. "I can't take this shit no more" He said walking to the mini fridge and taking out a bottle of Gin

*****
"You know, my dream was to do this kind of work, not to end
up falling for the guy I gotta dance with."

"Well, everything happens for a reason. Give AJ a chance...you act like you want
him to just stop loving T and start loving you. You two barely know each other
anyways.."

****

"yea, we don't fukin know each other" he laughed bitterly taking a drink. "I can't take this shit No more," He said standing up and getting his sleeping pills out of his bags. He dumped some into his hand and popped them into his mouth washing them down with the Gin."whoa," Aj said as he felt the pills take an affect on him. He slowly layed down on his bed with the bottle held tightly in his hand. His eyes started to fall until he finally passed out.