Chapter 11

It could all be so simple (the pain)
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me And no one ever will
Is this just a silly game?
That forces you to act this way?
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you can't stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me And no one ever will

No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin', It ain't workin' (No, it ain't workin')
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy, this is crazy (This is crazy, uh-huh!)

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself?
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we've got to do
You let go, and I'll let go too '
Cause no one's hurt me more than you And no one ever will

No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin', It ain't workin' (It ain't workin' !)
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy, this is crazy
Care for me, care for me! I know you care for me!
There for me, there for me! Said you'd be there for me!
Cry for me, cry for me! You said you'd die for me!
Give to me, give to me! Why won't you live for me?! (Repeat)

~*~1 Month~*~

Julie sat there as the radio poured out the song of her life  "Wow" She whispered. She looked looked around the empty room. "AJ" She called standing up and wrapping a sheet around her body. She stopped when she found a note. 

Going to the studio. I expect you to be here when I get back...AJ

She picked up the phone next to her nightstand and dialed AJ's number

"Hello?" A girl laughed

"Is AJ there?" She asked weakly

"Yep, hold on" the girl said.

"Yea?" AJ said a minute later

"Hey, What time are you gonna be back?"

"About four" he said, "Why don't you come up here...the girls are here"

"I dunno AJ, I'm pretty sore" she said referring to the fight they had last night.

"So be here in 20" AJ said ignoring her.

"Fine" she sighed hanging up.

She got dressed and got in AJ's expedition and drove to the studio. She walked in to be greeted by Farrah.

"Hey babe!" she excailmed, "I missed you so much...I have so much to tell you about our honeymoon" she giggled

"Ok" Julie said putting on a fake smile as she saw AJ waving her over, "I'll be right back"

She followed AJ into a small room and heard the door click.

"Sit down" he ordered.

Julie sat down and looked into his eyes

"If I hear one word that you told Farrah about this, I will kill you...do you understand?"

Julie didn't say anything but rolled her eyes "Ow!" she screeched when she felt a sting go across her face

"I said, do you understand?"

"Yes" she cried

"Good, now clean up and go back out" he said walking out.

Julie fixed her make-up to hide the bluish mark that was appearing. She walked back out and sat by Farrah.

"Ok" Farrah said, "So we get on the ship and first we get to Jamaca. Jules, it was beautiful. We took scubba diving and went horse back riding, then when we got back to the hotel we" she stopped to giggle, "Yah all night...every night"

"Whoa" Julie said as she tried to pay attention.

"Julie...you're not even listening...are you ok?"

"Yea, I'm, fine"

"Well how are you and AJ?"

Julie didn't answer.

"Is he hitting you again?"

"No" Julie lied.

Farrah yanked Julie up and drug her into the bathroom. "Wash it off"

"What off?"

"You're make-up"

"No Farrah" She said,  "Just stay out of it, for me ok?"

"Just lift up your shirt"

Julie sighed and slowly lifted up her shirt to show bluish marks all over her stomach and back.

"Julie" Farrah said as she put Julie's shirt back, "Why are you going through this again?"

"He's making me" she sobbed.

"I'm telling Kevin."

"No! Please don't. I'm ok. I swear Farrah, If you tell, I'm never talking to you again"

"Please Julie?"

"No" Julie stated firmly.

"Girls?" Nick knocked

"Yea?"

"Can you come out? I gotta pee"

"Ok" they laughed. Julie wiped away her tears and walked back out with Farrah.

"Julie, we're gonna go back to Rok's Ok?" AJ said coming out and handing her her purse.

"Ok"

"Did you bring my car?"

"Yea"

"Ok good, cause I caught a ride with Nick So I'll just ride with you"

"Ok" They walked out to the expedition. Julie handed AJ the keys and got in the passenger side.

As soon as AJ got out of the parking lot, he rolled around the back of the studio.

"I told you not to tell her anything...didn't I"

"I didn't tell her" Julie said watching as he pulled something out of his glove capartment.

"Don't lie"

"I'm not" she sobbed as she saw it was a needle filled with clear liquid.

"Shut up" he growled as he lifted up her shirt and stuck her with the needle.

" Ow!"Julie found herself feeling woozy, "What is that?"

"Just a little something to keep you in line" he said as he pulled back out and drove to Brian's. He looked at Julie's emotionless eyes, "You ok?" he said getting scared that he gave her too much.

She slowly nodded.

"Ok, good, I'm only doing this because I love you...you know that right?

She nodded again as AJ opened the car doors and let her out. She walked with him to the door and waited until Leighanne opened it.

"Hey" she smiled letting them in. Julie sat on the couch next to Nick's girlfriend and stared at the wall. She felt sick, but she couldn't say anything.

"So what's up?" Leighanne asked sitting next to her

Julie looked at her, "Ummm..."

"Are you ok Hunny?" Leighanne asked noticing the glossy look in Julie's eyes.

Julie nodded while staring back at the wall. AJ sat down next to her and handed her a drink.

She took it and stared at the bubbles the carbon was making.

Farrah and Kevin walked in.

"Oh Jules, I forgot to give you your present I brought for you" Farrah said handing Julie a nicely wrapped present.

Julie looked up at Farrah and took the present. She opened it to pull out a studded bikini that she had wanted the last time that the boys had gone to Jamaca.

"Thank you" she said dryly

"You don't like it?" Farrah said sitting across from her.

"No, I love it" she said trying to put some emotion in her voice.

Farrah looked at AJ and could see him sifting in his seat, "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. Ask her"

"Julie, come here and talk to me" Farrah said pulling Julie up. Julie waslked with her into the kitchen and sat down, "Honny what's wrong?"

"Nothing" Julie said

"Why are you all spacy...and why are your eyes all glossy?"

" I dunno" Julie said

"Well If I ask Kevin to come in here...will you tell me"

"No," Julie said stopping Farrah

"Then tell me"

"No" Julie said standing up and walking away. She sat in her original seat and took a sip of her drink.

AJ rubbed her leg and kissed her neck softly. He slowly slipped his other hand up her shirt.

"Ewww J, No PDA please" Nick said

"We'll just continue somewhere else" AJ smiled taking Julie's hand and leading her upstairs to Brian's bathroom. He lifted Julie on the counter and started to take off her clothes. Julie sat there and watched as her clothes fell to the ground. AJ looked up at her as he took off his jeans, "Come on Julie...wake up so we can both enjoy this"

Julie looked up and handed him a condom from her purse. AJ slipped it on and entered her. He slid her closer to him and pumped merciless into her small body. He rammed harder  until he finally came.  He pulled out and saw a small trail of blood coming from her center.  He got dressed and wiped the blood from her.

"Get dressed" he said handing her her clothes.

She hopped down and pulled on the clothes and looked at AJ.

"Julie...why are you acting like this?"

"Can we go home? She finally said

"No, we have a lot of stuff to do here. Just sit with the other girls and have a good time.

Julie turned around and threw up in the toilet.

AJ helped her clean up and then led her downstairs.

"You wanna go swimming?" Leighanne asked Julie as she fixed her bikini, along with Farrah.

Julie shrugged.

"Goody, you can wear your new suit" Farrah said handing it to her.

Julie walked into the bathroom and got dressed. She looked at the marks on her and slipped on a robe. She walked outside with the other girls who were already in the pool. She quickly took off the robe and slid in.

"That looks so great on you" Farrah gushed as she swam up to Julie.

"Thanks" Julie said as she tried to play vollyball with the other girls. AJ and the guys walked out thirty minutes later to see the girls still playing.

"J, why does Julie still have bruises?" Brian asked as they took seats on the lawn chairs.

AJ shrugged as he opened his beer.

"Are you still treating her like shit?" Kevin asked

"Whatever Kev"

"You know...she's different. I can't figure out what...but she is" Howie said

Yea D, I noticed that too...I think she may be on somethin" Nick added, "Bone you should watch her...who knows what she got on when she was back home in Kentucky"

"She's fine" Aj said

"Well, if we're finished, I'm gonna bounce. Hey are we still going to the club tommorow?"

"Yea" everyone agreed.

"Julie" AJ called

She turned around and looked at him.

"You ready to go, baby?"

"If you are" she said softly.

He nodded standing up. She got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around herself. She got dressed and said her goodbyes. They got in AJ's car and drove home.

"Did you have a good time?"

Julie didn't say anything as she stared out of the window.

"Look" AJ said as they pulled up to his house, "Stop playing games ok?"

"What games?" she muttered getting out

"This silence and shit. You're trying to get everybody to feel sorry for you and it's not working."

"No, how about you fuckin drugged me!" she screamed going inside.

"Shut up" he said walking up to her.

"What AJ, you gonna beat me? If you do why don't you go ahead and just kill me while you're at it."

"What the hell are you talking about Julie. You're fuckin crazy"

"No AJ, you're a damn drunk who beats me!"

"I haven't beat you" he muttered sitting down.

"What do you call last Night AJ?"

"Last night we had a fight" he said simply.

"No, if we had a fight, I would have had my fair share to. But no. you held me down and hit me and raped me."

"What do you want me to do Julie. It happened and we can't change that"

"You at least used to apologize" she said as a tear dropped.

"That's what you want Julie? You want me to apologize to you? Fine, I'm sorry"

Julie ran upstairs and closed and locked their bedroom door.

"Open the door!" AJ said banging on it after he chased her.

"Just leave me alone" she cried hugging her knees to her chest

"Julie, baby," he said softly, "let me in so we can talk"

"No!" she screamed.

"Don't make me break down the door, cause your ass will be payin for it in more ways than one"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you too!"

"Aj, just go away"

"You can't keep me out of my own room"

"You can't keep on treating me like this!"

"You have to come out sooner or later" he said sitting by the door.

~*~6 hours later...2:30 A.M~*~

Julie woke up with a hunger pain in her stomach since she hadn't eaten all day. She walked towards the door and slowly opened it. She saw Aj sleeping on the floor. she slowly crept by him but stopped when she heard him clear his throught. She turned and looked at him.

"So you decided to come out" he said standing up.

"Aj, just go to bed...please?" She said walking down and opening the cupboard. She pulled down a box of cereal and made herself a bowl. AJ sat down staring at her as she ate.

"What?" she muttered looking up at him.

"Nothing" he said looking away.